photos

For a while, I got obsessed with the idea of photographing myself on a girl's lap. I was about 19 and still in college, but I had my own place. One night, I invited my friend Amy over and I decided that that night I would sit on her lap and get pictures of me doing so. I wasn't exactly sure how I'd manage it, but I got my camera ready. This was back in the days before digital cameras, so I had to load in real film.

I set the camera up on a tripod and aimed it at a chair. When Amy knocked on the door, I yelled "come in!" And when she came in, she found me sitting in the chair, using the camera's timer to take pictures of myself.

"What on Earth are you doing?" she asked. I told her that I'd just bought this camera used and that I was testing it out. Then I said, "hey, can I take some pictures of you?"

She said "sure!" So she sat in the chair and I move to the tripod. I snapped a bunch of pictures of her, and I asked her to get into all sorts of silly poses. I wanted to set the stage for lapsitting by making things really playful. After the forth or fifth picture, Amy was having a blast. Winking at the camera, giggling, etc.

Then I said, "I have to get some of you and me together!" She agreed that this would be fun, so I set the timer and ran across the room. I stood next to the chair and leaned into the frame. After the shutter went off, I went back to the camera, looked through the viewfinder and said, "You know what? I don't think it got both of us. I can only see you and a bit of the chair."

We brainstormed a little about how to get both of us into the frame. But the chair was back against the wall, so we couldn't move it any further back. And the tripod was all the way pressed against the opposite wall (it was a small apartment).

"Why don't we go outside where there's more room?" she asked. I acted all excited and said, "That's a great idea" but then I "remembered" that it was night and I didn't have a flash. Feigning defeat, I said, "I don't think there's any way we can get a photo of both of us, unless I sit in your lap." I didn't know how she would take this. She wasn't one of the girls from the dorm. I had never sat on her lap before.

But she squealed happily and said, "go ahead!" So I set the timer, ran across the room and sat on her lap. The photo snapped, and I said, "I've got to get another one!" So I went back to the camera. This time I only pretended to set the timer. From across the room, I said, "prepare your lap for me!" Amy giggled and straightened her posture. I ran back across the room and climbed onto her lap. We sat there for a really long time, but of course we never heard the camera click, because I hadn't set the time. I kept saying, "That's weird. Why hasn't it gone off yet?" But it got me an extra minute or so on her lap.

Eventually, I got up and set the timer correctly. I got many shots of me sitting on her lap in different positions: with my legs to the left, with my legs to the right, with my legs tucked underneath me, so that I was entirely on her lap.

I always wondered what they thought at the photobooth, if they happened to look at the photos as they were developing. I cherished those photos for years and spent many a fine time jacking off to them. Years later, when I was dating a girl, I decided to throw them (and other photos of girls) away. I wish I hadn't done that. I miss those photos.